Day 2, of - The Bible: Walking With Jesus - Renew, Transform, and Reinvent Your Life in 40 Days

(2:52 PM - Gee, it feels like morning, I am shot)I heard this song yesterday, and it reminded me of how long I've been wishing that I can really live and feel the meaning of this song, and over a decade later I still haven't, but I feel so close. I remember when this song came out, 2003, I was 22 battling heroin addiction, and it brings tears to my eyes, although I'm almost 10 years away from heroin addiction, still, when am I going to feel this song :(

Day 1 talked about 'embracing solitude'.
And it was so good to hear that,
because that is what I've been doing,
but been confusing because in mental health 'isolation' is really frowned upon,
but my mental health community I feel has been supportive.

And tho I am still battling caffeine and seroquel, there are some victories over the horizon, such as closing in on 3 months sober from dextromethorphan.

But right now I lack motivation to even clean my room, and caffeine I can not live without right now, it gives me a little JOLT. A little JOLT of adrenaline.

I'M STILL NOT STABLE ENOUGH TO GET A JOB!!! But I'm close.
"Why are you shouting?"
I'm not.

From yesterdays, -Mother Mary- magazine, the first page, reads; "What a joy to remember that she is our Mother! Since she loves us and knows our weakness, what have we to fear?"
Love and Respect Women!
Love and Respect Children!
And Love Your Mother!
(prayer)

Day 2 of Mother Mary reflection and meditation, some small excerpts from the magazine(LIFE: MARY - BLESSED ART THOU AMONG WOMEN); The young Jewish girl goes to the stone synagogue in Nazareth. She offers devotions in the small women's section adjacent to the main prayer hall. In chorus with other congregants, the girl recites psalms and absorbs their lessons; "Abandon yourself to GOD"?
I really like this passage in this magazine because this has been a main prayer asking of me to GOD, "Please GOD. Teach me *DEVOTION*"

Everything is always up to the interpretation of individual perception. What do you see?

And from the second day page of the magazine(The Bible: Walking With Jesus - Renew, Transform, and Reinvent Your Life in 40 Days); Jesus' kingdom was spiritual, not political (John 18:36).
How relevant is that, today?
He did not wage war against his enemies the way the world wanted. He taught his subjects to lay down their lives for the good of others, rather than fight one another for power.
Five days after his triumphant arrival, Jesus was crucified.(OUCH! Five days is not a long time to prepare)
However, death did not stop Jesus from ushering in his kingdom. According to the Bible, his kingdom grows in the hearts of everyone who follows him (Matthew 13:1-23).

To be continued tonight.
I will do my best to get thru the day positive.
Be back.
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